Deutschlish

We have been here for almost 8 months now, so you might be wondering how we are getting along with that language they speak here...Deutsch. It depends on the day you ask really. Before moving to Germany I had studied German for a year in high school, spent 3 months in Switzerland, and studied one year in college. But if you don't use it, you lose it. And lose it I did!

When we arrived in Germany in June I could hardly form a sentence or remember the most basic words. I couldn't count, and when I tried to say something it often came out in Spanish. With Simon, it hasn't been possible to take a course - so I have been learning on the fly.

But I am happy to say that I get by - and that I enjoy the challenge, and deal with the frustrations. I can have basic conversations, go to the grocery store, market, or post office and get it done in German. If all else fails - most people understand English, but I try my best to speak German when possible.

One of the things that has been most helpful in learning German has been taking Simon to courses with other German moms. Of course the courses (PEKIP and Babyschwimmen) are in German, and I get a chance to speak German with new people and learn German baby songs. It has helped me tremendously, and I have found Germans to be very patient and willing to put up with my crappy German. (I also believe that they would rather hear my crappy German than speak English.)

Martin, whose German is clearly better than mine, does not have nearly the opportunities that I do to speak German. They speak English in his office (because of him), but he doesn't have time to work on German at work when he so much actual work to get done. He did a one week intensive German course in January, but again - he's not out and about the way I am to really use it on a daily basis.

We both hope that we continue to improve our German. In the fall, I will be able to take a German course that provides childcare, so I am really looking forward to that.

Kindercafe! - Spielen und Spaß

Yesterday Simon and I met up with some of our friends at the new Kindercafe (Kids' Cafe), Pantakea, just around the corner. It has a big sandbox on one side for the kids to play in, and soft mats cover the other end of the cozy space, with toys, books, and swings strewn about.

They also sell coffee, tea and snacks for both adults and little ones - but no pressure to buy. You pay an entrance fee to come and play, and can stay as long as you like. This is perfect for the Drizzledorf winter weather. Simon played nonstop for 3.5 hours (well, he ate) and loved watching other kiddos and playing with new toys. And, also important, Mama had a great time too! We both made new friends, and know that we will make many more there. I envision many a cozy afternoons played out here....looking forward to it.

Oops!

So, I thought we were having professional pictures taken of Simon today. Apparently we are not. Not sure what date they were supposed to be, but not today. That's what happens when you make appointments in German. Oops!

Adjusted Age

Simon kind of has two ages. One is based on his birthday, let's call that his real age. The other is based on his due date, which is his adjusted age. From the day he was born we talked about his age differently. First we referred to his gestational age - how many weeks he would be if he were still in my belly. We were also told over and over by doctors and nurses that going forward, for at least the first two years, all developmental milestones and should be based on his adjusted age. Makes sense. It's not like he got a head start - he just spent his 3rd trimester outside rather than inside.


Simon on his due date, May 10, 2010

But when we were finally out in the real world, it became a little complicated. Of course you naturally think of your child's age based on their birth date. But when they're small, 2 1/2 months make a big difference. I did finally start telling strangers his adjusted age - it made it easier than having to explain why he was so small (especially in German).

Because Simon was our first, and he seemed big to us, we didn't really have the perspective of how me must have looked to others. Like when we took him to a Mavericks playoff game when he was only 37 weeks gestational age (that's 3 weeks before his due date).



Now Simon isn't really all that different from a 10 1/2 month old, even though his adjusted age is 8 months. But somehow, I still feel all mixed up about his age. I feel like I'm always going back and forth. Yes, he can start to eat yogurt at 9 months, but he's only 8 months but he's 10 1/2 months.

Also, we have been playing with a lot of babies his age lately, with swim classes and PEKIP, and I see how much he is more like an 8 month old than a 10 1/2 month old. It's not his size, but more subtle developmental phases, like crawling and body control.

Last month he had a check up with a specialist to evaluate his development as a preemie. She was very impressed and said that he was spot on for his (adjusted) age. Our PEKIP instructor has also been impressed by his size and development. These little things help me - the little reassurances. Every mom likes to hear how well their kid is doing. But if you kid wasn't doing well at the start - and is now - it means even more. He's been a fighter from the start.



Check out our Caring Bridge blog we kept while Simon was in the hospital.

Happy New Year!

With the start of the new year we are all busy making resolutions on how we are going to make our lives better. I'm not big on New Years resolutions, as it seems silly to not always be working to improve our lives. Why wait until January 1st?

But ifI were into New Years resolutions, I would say that I am going to try to be more consistent about writing in my blog. What better way to start than with Simon's first Christmas!

We spent Christmas with the Oppenheimers in Stockholm. For the first time EVER everyone was there - all the siblings with their spouses and the 3 little cousins. We spent Christmas Eve opening gifts and feasting on herring (definitely an acquired taste). Santa even stopped by! (Click here for video.)

Unfortunately, a stomach bug hit the house during our week, although Martin and I and the kids were spared. During the week we relaxed around the house, Simon ventured into the city for the first time (although he slept the whole time), and we met friends and had Peking duck for the first time. This trip also marked Simon's introduction to sledding - an important sport growing up in my family. He wasn't thrilled with it, but not totally unimpressed either. He didn't flinch when we pushed the limits on speed - I am optimistic he will be an excellent sledder!

Who needs a stroller? We used a sled instead when visiting a friend in the neighborhood.

We are very excited to the year ahead of us. I am especially excited to celebrate Simon's first birthday (with his cousin in Charleston!) and try to use all of Martin's 6 weeks of vacation. It's going to be a great year!

See more pics of our holiday trip here.

PEKIP

I first heard about PEKIP through some of other parents I met here in Germany who had gone through it with their children. I knew that it was a class that mostly mothers attend with their babies during baby's first year of life, that you attend with babies of similar age, that it's taught by some sort of licensed instructors, and that it's - well - in German. So after getting a recommendation from Simon's physical therapist (who, incidentally, has a grandson born on Simon's due date) we finally entered our first PEKIP class in November!

The first day did not get off to a good start. I arrived at the address where I thought the class was being held, but could find no sign of it. I called Martin (who had to come out of a meeting) and asked him to check my email because it appeared I was at the wrong spot. I had been corresponding with the instructor in German, so I would not have been surprised to have misunderstood where the class. Turns out - I was at the right address. What I had overlooked was the words im Hof, which means more or less in the Garden. I hadn't noticed or thought to check a little courtyard area that you can find behind many buildings. Only 10 minutes late - we had arrived!

We walked in and joined 7 other mamas and their babies on the floor mats of a nicely heated room. All of the babies were either naked or their diapers, so I stripped Simon down to his unterhosen as well.

I would describe it as a support group for moms. We sing songs and give the babies a chance to play and interact together. Most importantly, it gives moms a venue to connect with other moms and talk about frustrations, successes, worries, doubts, etc. Is this normal? What should I do? When should I start this? It reminds me of Parents Anonymous, a support group program for parents in the US, only with a name that doesn't seem to suggest some sort of parenting deficiency (love the program, not the name).

The song we open with has these lyrics, which I think are a good reminder to all parents:

Erst ich und dann du (First me and then you)

Good stuff.

Simon's best German buddy - Tim.

For me, it has been a great opportunity to meet German friends and force myself further into German culture. I participate in German, and usually understand what we are talking about, but maybe not everything that is being said. And, of course, Simon loves playing with his new buddies!

A quick google search lends a more formal explanation as to what the program is and where it got started. You can find it here.

Kindergarten

(I started this post in August)

I was recently asked if we had picked out a Kindergarten for Simon yet - "there's a 2 year wait, you know." WHAT?? NO - I DON'T KNOW!! Here I am, looking at my sweet little 6 month old boy, thinking about when I am going to start solids - not where is he going to go to Kindergarten. So the search for a German Kindergarten begins. (Let me point out that 1 year ago today (August 26) I still didn't even KNOW that I was pregnant, or that I was moving to Germany - so I don't feel too bad about being behind the ball on this one.)

(And now I am continuing)

First, let's talk about the word Kindergarten. It is a German word that literally means "children's garden" and in the US it usually refers to the first year of school. However, in Germany it is more like preschool, and usually starts after the child turns 3. So apparently, I am not looking for a Kindergarten, but a Kita. From what I gather, it's like daycare/preschool. And for whatever reason, it has recently become harder to enroll your kids in Kita and people usually start before their baby is due.

Here's what I know about the process so far:

• There are 4 different types of Kitas, (private, public, coops, and Tagesmutter)
• Waits can be from 1-3 years (coops have the longest waits)
• Most people apply to several (or many - someone told me 16!!) and hope to get accepted somewhere.
• Some are bilingual (German/English)

So, I really don't know much, and that's because I really haven't done much about it. I guess if there is any chance that I work while I am here that I need to start checking into it. It's one of those things that I just keep putting off. For now, I am happy at home with my little guy.